This Friday Eldest is leaving school.
I am just leaving that there.
For me that sentence takes a while to settle. Like a heavy stone on my chest.
I seem to have been preparing for the big day for a long time. Sourcing school shorts big enough for him to wear on the last day as if he were still in the junior school (it’s an upper 6th Leavers Day tradition). Helping him apply to university. Providing food and support during the endless rounds of revision. Attending and supporting the ‘lasts’ of everything. Last Christmas concert, last Spring Concert, last rugby match, last hockey match, last cello lesson, last Monday…..
Throughout this process I would like to say that my overriding feeling is pride at the amazing young man he has become, which of course I am. Because he is.
But what I feel the most is unbearably sad.
“I called the mathematicians and asked them to explain. They said love is only equal to the pain”.
Coldplay ‘Let Somebody Go’